Spiritual
In summer 1994, I began to spend time to explore spirituality. I browsed through information sources on the net and borrowed books from the university library. I eventually read books about the life of the Buddha and Buddhism. I was surprised to find that I had already "discovered" some of the Buddhists views about life. For example, I had already came to the conclusion that everything is impermanent.
I read "The Three Pillars of Zen" by Roshi Philip Kapleau and it has been very influencal in my early practice.
I went to the introductory course at the Montreal Zen Center. It was an interesting experience. First of all, it dispelled some preconceptions I had about the director of the center: Albert Low. I thought he would be a severe looking man. In fact, he is very sympathetical.
I didn't become officially Albert Low's student though. At the time of my last visits at the Zen Center, it was increasingly difficult for students to have interviews with the teacher. Seing that, I decided that I would look elsewhere. It think at that time I alreay had in mind of moving to the US and I knew I'd find other teachers there. I do think that Albert Low is a good teacher though. That is probably one reason there are so many students at the Center.
I've had many chats with my good and dear friend Debora Orf about Zen practice. She often talked about her teacher. Many times she would mention something he said that would resonate in me. After my move to Washington, DC. I decided that I should try to find a teacher. So in May 1998, I decided to go to Furnace Mountain in Kentucky. There I participated in my first retreat and met Zen Master Dae Gak.
In November 1998 (or was it October?), I began sitting with the Dae Do Sah group.
Practice still goes on.
Why Buddhism?
Because as I said earlier, I had already discovered by myself some of the Buddhists views about life. Also, when I was about 17 years old, I had a bizare experience.
On my way back from a general store, I felt for a fraction of a second that everything was interconnected as part of something bigger. For a fraction of a second, I felt that everything was "as it should be". (It is difficult to explain exactly what happened.) At first, I was troubled by this experience. As days passed, the memory of the experience faded away. It wasn't until I began reading about Buddhism that I remembered it. In the Buddhism tradition, this kind of experience is called "kensho" (I think... I still have difficulty to differenciate "kensho" from "satori").
Why Zen Buddhism?
Why Zen and not another branch of Buddhism? Because I usually do not beleive everything I read in books. Buddhism says that there is no duality, that everything is "one". Although I would tend to beleive that it is indeed so, I want to experience it for myself. One goal of Zen is to make you experience this.
Personnal rules regarding spirituality
The quest for spiritual enlightenment is not without danger. If one is not careful, one might fall into the hands of charlatans or might be brainwashed. By the way, this kind of chalatanism and brainwashing can be found in any religion. If you think your religion is above that, then you are on your way to brainwashing.
Here are some rules I follow in order to avoid trouble:
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Never hold as true something you didn't experience yourself or something that you cannot integrate into your system of belief.
Spirituality is a personnal matter. If you hold as true anything a spiritual leader says you risk of being brainwashed.
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Beware of a spiritual leader that tries to control your personnal life.
Your personnal life is your business. Some spiritual leaders try to impose rules over you. My opinion is that ethics, spiritual rules, etc. should be rooted in an inner understanding and acceptace of those rules. Imposing them from outside is not the solution and will often result in psychological dammage. For example, the sexual repression imposed on Catholic monks and priests has led to sexual abuse of children.
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Spirituality is not something you can switch on and off at will.
Your spiritual quest goes on every second of your life. Being spiritual only in Church or during prayer or meditation is not enough. You must pursue you quest all the time.
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Whatever happens don't abandon your critical mind.
The best armor against charlatanism and abuse is to keep a critical mind. Don't participate in acts that seems wrong to you. Maybe you don't understand the spiritual significance of those acts yet but this is no reason to blindly participate in them.
I do not beleive that hurting someone either physically or psychologically can help him/her gain spiritual enlightenment. There are some basic moral rules that shouldn't be transgressed by anybody.
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Never force somebody into performing rites he or she does not want to perform. Never try to force spiritual knowledge into the mind of someone else.
Like I wrote earlier imposing ideas or rituals upon somebody might result in psychological dammage. These ideas or ritual should be fully understood and accepted before trying to use them. This acceptance should arise from inner reflexions or meditation.
Here is an introduction to Buddhism.
Some links: